This sickness and vileness of Kali ~ Nuke on Dick

MyLog of 8^th April 2014

This sickness and vileness of Kali ~ Nuke on Dick

I had a pretty meager sex life. I only had about 5 women which I related to for a short while. And all experiences where quite on the dull side. Not much activity. I always had the feeling that something was not right. The blonde German women in the disco “Hally Gally” making fun of me and taking me not serious and so on. And I always wondered why with my good looks I did not get a beautiful girlfriend. I always wondered what type of game was being played against me. I figured it out later. I was leading a life like in the “Sims 3” where Kali was viewing or supervising my so called life and kept making it bad.

My first girlfriend was a Indian girl. And I got a message from the Astral Realm before waking up. I simply knew or was told by some entity that this girl that I met with 19 in Germany, Berlin was going to be my first girlfriend I had sex with. I sensed that it was a higher voice telling me that this one girl was going to be my first. A very small about 1.60 meters tall Indian girl. I believe that I was being kept in some type of stage or scenery, like in some game where my progress was halted at every step of the way and that I was only allowed to do certain things when Kali allowed me this.

My second girlfriend was even weirder, mind this was before I woke up. I was dating this Persian woman who studied psychology and she was totally insane. Not really insane but crazy somehow. She invited me to her home on our first date. She went to her paintings at the wall and showed me some dark angel black and white. And she literary introduced me to this “person” or “painting” saying: “Alex, this is Death. Death this is Alex.” This was another sick episode from Kali. Manipulating reality to make herself feel great and good. She was literary telling me that I was going to die in this life and reality. Actually dying on the other world as well. Then being reborn as a baby without any knowledge of what happened and what was the cause of all of this. Simply signifying, that it would all restart again. So back to my Persian girlfriend. She showed and introduced me to “Death” and then I asked: “Where is life?” Again I must specify that this was all before I woke up but nevertheless I felt it all as being real the experience. Being aware even before being awake. And she answered: “Over there.” pointing to some light beige painting of some angel.

She actually wanted me and liked me because she found me great, charming and good looking. But she thought because it was my second time with a woman that it was something special because it was for her also her second time. I believe this was the sole reason why she wanted to sleep with me. And we kissed, yes, a beautiful long kiss after she made dinner for both of us. We ate some pomegranates and we kissed. It was a good kiss, and she was totally overwhelmed actually, I looked away but she breathed out very strongly.

So we went to be bed and she asked me if I wanted to leave the same night or not, and I told her that I could stay. Well Kali was just having her field day. This was all planned by her, even the introduction to my own Death. We had sex, but not rough or hard sex. It was just plain kissing, penetration and that was it. But during the intercourse I heard a click, not in this world but from the other world. Again this entire episode was orchestrated by Kali and her sick ways. The “click” was actually the activation of a nuclear type bomb on the other realm. My penis was connected to this bomb on the other world. And she was making sure that it was activated by me laying with that Persian woman. Like pulling the pin of grenade, just way more deadlier. The detonation would destroy my entire other worldly body and cause much damage. Leaving me totally paralysed on this realm. Literary my penis was connected to a weapon of mass destruction on the other world, meaning if I had sexual intercourse that it would destroy me and the entire faith of mankind.

This is just one of the reasons why I was not “allowed” to have sex in my life. Only sporadically and without much fun, all controlled by Kali since she did not want the bomb to go off. Another reason why I never had sex or really normal sex, why I never got a blowjob is because that filthy bitch controls my life more than I would like. Right now I have certain freedoms but still I am not in full control of my life.

Kali is so sick and perverted that she would connect my private parts and its actions to a nuke such that I would die in the process of having sex. Why I am writing this down? Because more and more I recollect what she did to me.

Another reason why I did not have sex is because I am very ill. I had no body, I was trapped inside a box, being simply a tool for Kali. To be her creationary tool of joy and pleasure. I had no body, and my body had to be built up from scratch.

Kali used my evil older sister to program me throughout my entire life to hate myself and to look at me with negative feelings. She made me look bad. At the end of 19 years of programming by my sister, Kali. She got her goals. I hated myself so much that I believed that I will never have a girlfriend. Although I am a very good looking person. I still dislike or hate my appearance to this day. Always seeing the negative and not the positive. This also has to do with the general programming but Kali via my sister Jana did a lot of damage to me.

If you feel ill you do not want to have intercourse. I felt very ill in Berlin. For months and years I was so low on energy that I was recharged over and over again with a small device that was hooked to my arm. I heard and felt the tremblings of the machine pumping energy in my body. Mind this was all in the other world, I felt without energy. Like someone was pulling out my energy and I felt that I could not move. They operated on me for months. Years even. And pushed me on this machine for me to get energy. Now I feel quite good, but I normally would have way more energy. This is way too low! It is sad. I was nothing but a tool. My mind being kept in a dream type reality to be kept busy while at the same time I was being drained from my own energy over and over again.

I know or have the feeling that I too was not allowed to masturbate until I was 18 years old. My first orgasm via masturbation was at 18 when my two friends Jan and Laurens gave me an old porno movie. I know or came to the insight that I was under Kali control my entire life, and that she controlled everything that I did. Even bar fights were organized by her to attack me. I know I should not blame everything on Kali but I believe that I was under her evil “Sims 3 PC Game” influence, like I was her toy over and over again, just that she treated me really bad. She is sick, evil and perverted. That is Kali. The only entity that insults God, the father and the son over and over again. All others just keep their mouths shuts during the episodes that I saw her. But I fought her over and over again. I kept fighting her. And I endured the worst type of treatments from her and others for that what I had to experience.

The reasons why I avoid real contact in the real world today? Even girlfriends? Because I do not feel well. I only live with the help of my spiritual father who lives through me. He holds me, without him I would or could not even stand. We merge when I am working or doing stuff like this writing, but he is a separate entity. Why? Because this is the only way. If my head spirit would be connected to my whole body this would set alarms off at Kali Hqs. She would then come and do the worst things to me. This is why we try to hide this reality from her. I know that I am on my path to freedom. That Day when I have full control of my body! When I manifest on this realm! I can't wait for that day! And one day that day will become a reality. I hope so. I do not want to live this way for the rest of my life. I pretend to be normal. Through my spiritual Father I can live a pretty normal life but I try to avoid any type of stress. It is me or my father that wants to do nothing actually, because carrying me is so heavy. And nobody believes me. When I fly around like Superman and Neo then I will have the attention of the world. Before that day I will just write my blog. And hope that one day my body will be mine and that I will be truly free.

Thanks for listsening.